the time traveler’s wife: a heartache

I have long abandoned this little isolated islet of mine in the vast sea of web, but tonight, after watching this movie, I  felt a compelling urge to write.

Be it you hear me or not, i have to say…

Romantic movies are my enemy, the foe I fear and cant defeat. I’ve watched  Titanic 3 times yet couldnt survive 30 minutes of viewing, the torture was severe and I wasn’t masochistic enough.

But this movie, the time traveller’s wife, reminds me of aconite… such innocent pink flowers with so sweet a nectar, but make no mistake, it kills you in a heartbeat.

And a heart it killed is a heart I discovered for I almost forgot how to shed tears, I even thought my tears would be dirty…how long have they been in storage?

Imagine having the ability to travel back and forth in time through your own life just a different place, the same picture going on just a different seat… how many journeys would it take you to wear out the thrill of some new joys? and how many times till your heart stops aching about a loss? What a bless, what a curse.

A woman, it is always a woman, and in this case a beauty that made my heart jump-start. It is not her secret charm or calm allure, it is the fact that she loved her man.

She loved a man with an incorrigible shortcoming. Could women love this way? could you?

I know you’d say all men have some incurable defect. If you just had this thought after the last paragraph, dear reader, then you must be a woman, because that…is a typical feminine answer, it’s almost a reflex. You always wish for a perfect man yet you fall in love with the worst, besides, how perfect are you anyway?

If women were like that Clare Abshire, I don’t think a divorce is ever likely to happen. why is it that true love from the opposite gender became as scarce as a phoenix, while all they brag about is their capacity to love unconditionally?

That movie is food for thought, and soothing words for a wailing heart. Dont watch it if you cant cry.

why porn makes me cringe and laugh uncontrollably at the same time?

why?

before i elaborate on that, let me ask you a question, you all porn fanatics out there: didnt porn become more agressive these days?

oh yes it did!

the idea nowadays is to HURT and DEGRADE! it is no more making love or exchanging pleasures, it is about violence, humiliation, and exchanging bodily fluids with those females of the species.

now, what makes me cringe is the violence which seems out of proportion sometimes. yes, i do enjoy watching a woman being roughed up, kind of satisfies the hidden revenge desire for many broken hearts, but when playful harshness becomes carnal brutality, this is a private zone for the abnormally psyched.

i know women have low self-esteem by default, and i approve! but it was always a gentleman’s job to alleviate these symptoms, not worsen them.

what we have in todays porn reflects what we have become, for indeed humanity is most transparent in its primitive instincts, and what are those other than food and sex?

if this is what movies are showing and it is selling, then this is what people are digging.

in addition to that, whenever i watch porno i keep wondering what ever happened to safe sex?

saliva is not safe, you know that? and, correct me if i am wrong, isn’t it supposed to be dirty?

when you want to insult someone, you spit on them: their faces, clothes, shoes or even footsteps…this obviously doesnt mean that saliva is the elixir of life.

we are not feline creatures, our saliva doesnt clean us nor it has antiseptic properties, conversely though, it is  a source of infection. in fact, human beings are dirty creatures, there is nothing that comes out of the human body that is not capable of transmiting some disease…

I am not exaggerating if i say some people with poor oral hygiene could get sick by swallowing their own saliva….(you know yourself)

the way they use saliva in porn as the ultimate lubricant…well, saliva is actually watery, it gets slimey when it is contaminated

now what makes me laugh is the ridiculousness of the situations, which often feel awkward. the things that you cringe at are usually the hottest and coolest scenes, accompanied by lots of ooh’s and aah’s and yeah’s

porn actresses, with all those  heavy-duty bodies surgically enhanced, try to achieve a higher ranking by accepting whatever comes their way, at the end of the day, they become more degraded than animals. furthermore, they have to show that they love what they’re doing, and if they dont they just have to pretend…faking it, old school.

for instance, i watched some anal scene where the actress seemed really enjoying herself, then suddenly she opens her eyes wide, shouting: “oh my god! i can feel your dick inside my ass!”….
Wow! finally, she could! he’s been humping her for the last 15 minutes and now it seems the sensations are making their way to her higher cortex through all the silicone.
next thing she says: ” i can feel your cock in my ass with my finger in pussy”…..umm, too late.

suppose you saw a porn star being fucked, jizzed, and eventually peed at….suppose you met her in the street, would you lay a hand on her? you dirty fucker, and you eat with that hand?! dont ever shake my hand again! you could have used a condom at least.

but making fun of these people is making fun of ourselves, for they are the reflections of the little animals we keep in custody in the darkest holes of our psyches. these animals are always there since the beginning of humanity, but who set them free?

my godforsaken page

hey…

back to the niche of all peculiarities.

Am gonna post something soon…man, i have to.

i know you dont care, but feel free to remind me of that in a wee message if you may.

thanks…little ungrateful reader

Beowulf : (imitation)

Yesterday night, I watched Beowulf…an imitation.

I wish i didn’t.

Like,..how many times I’ve watched a Beowulf movie?

They all were OK, except this one…oh boy, the male lead was so foolish looking  he must be a comedian and this is his very first action movie.

Who told him to frown? Apparently he believes frowning makes you look serious, which it does, but not when you get a squint doing so.

The female lead? yeah, she had great boobs. Other than that, I bet she was thinking Beowulf is some kind of a Shakespeare play.

Premature acting, cheap scenario, wrong sound tracks at the perfect wrong timing…what is not to loathe?

Medical poetry: Drugs

Salam all

Sorry for the absence, I was just minding my own business in my lonely corner of this crappy world.

And no happy new year, I simply don’t care.

However, today i want to tell about this lovely book i have called:

Molecules and Mental illness

by Samuel H. Barondes (yep,author of: Better than Prozac),

and besides being an interesting book, easy to read and rich in content, it has this “recapitulation” section at the end, which is, indeed, a medical poetry.

One thing about medical poetry is that it is rare. Making poetry out of medicine is like making pottery out of flour.

Yet, this author amazed me with his ability to explain seamlessly medical history in poetic terms, or medical terms in poetic history.

I went through the pain to type a part of it for your reading pleasure (couldn’t find it on the net).

Here you go:

Drugs:

The problem for the chemists

Was explicitly defined

Just synthesize a lot of drugs

And hope that you will find

A patentable compound (that

Will benefit mankind).

So they made some novel structures

In some novel permutations,

And multiple derivatives

In strange configurations,

Which gave them many chemicals

That no one else had seen,

Including something special called

A phenothiazine

Which, much to their amazement,

(And their company’s great gain)

Was accidentally found to cause

Marked changes in the brain,

Deleting the delusions

Of the chronically insane.

Oh, what a stir these chemists caused

In finding this new potion.

Their seminal discovery

Set others into motion

(Perhaps there were some chemicals

That, in proper doses,

Might prove to be superior

In clearing up psychosis).

And so they mixed more mixtures,

Manufactured variations, and conjured up imipramine

By these improvisations;

Which didn’t help psychosis

But gave other welcome news:

That a bottle of imipramine

Obliterates the blues!

Then other types of drugs were found

With other applications,

Like Lithium’s preventing both

Depressions and elations;

But great confusion followed from

This flood of information

(Since cures caused by these compounds

Came without an explanation).

Till they found a simple answer

(But an incomplete solution):

Most drugs must bind receptors,

Making simple substitution

For a natural transmitter

With such specificity

The receptor grants admittance

(As a lock admits a key).

And so for schizophrenia,

(Whose key is dopamine),

You give a strong antagonist

(The phenothiazine)

That binds a D receptor, thereby

Getting in between

A site on the receptor

And the catecholamine.

It’s different with depression –

There you bind amine transporters

That translocate transmitters

(Which makes their actions shorter);

And by yet another tactic

You may switch from fright to fight

By increasing GABA’s binding

To a GABA binding site.

So praise the clever chemists

For the drugs they have confected

(Since changing minds with chemicals

Was really unexpected).

Now with their new technology

That’s sure to expedite

Additional discoveries –

All minds may soon work right.

rrrrruufff

salam all

You know what? today’s post isn’t for you, it’s for me.

I’ve always dreamt of having my own laptop. Elegant, attractive…one that reflects a personality I don’t have.

The thinking blog is having this generous anniversary gift (If you can call it so), and it is something worth writing about.

A rough tough water-resistant, high-end laptop! I still feel cynical about it but the thing looks quite authentic, it is got to give Alienware a run for their money.

The rest you can guess easily, they’ll give such prize to a lucky guy who would have to write about it in his/her blog.

I don’t feel lucky, but i feel obliged somehow.

Criminal Xing

The way I see it, it is Grand Theft Auto unofficial feature.

For an amateur class project..this movie deserves to be praised. With lack of experience and shitty GTA-like scenario, it’s still worthy of a review.

Not much of a plot with grand turn of events at the end, Criminal Xing strives to appear as decent and unorthodox as it could be.

Although they tried their best to make it look as realistic as humanely possible; there were few elements neglected: like what dumb assassin wouldnt count his  bullets? and the fact that the hero walks confidently killing people along the way is right out of thick Bollywood cinema industry.
And where are the drugs, man? This is Mexico, amigo!

Aptly classified as “Latino film”, not in a racist way, but kinda expressing nostalgia.

anyhow, here is my new way of movie reviews:

Keyword: GTA

Message: look at me, am mexican.

Butch & Femme

Intrigued by a remark made by Dylan in her last comment on the previous post, I had to take a deeper insight into the Etymology of these 2 words.

I’ll start with Butch, for its family tree is more interesting than the passive Femme.

Butch is a modern word, no doubt about that. 66 years old, it is still a newborn word that has the potential to change features once grown up.

In the Online Etymology Dictionary, Butch entry had the following:

“tough youth,” 1902, first attested in nickname of outlaw George Cassidy, probably an abbreviation of butcher. Sense of “aggressive lesbian” is 1940s.

Being an ignorant of American modern history, I was like: Who the fuck is George Cassidy? Even a google search didnt help, since it seems to be a popular name.

Later though, after a simple search on Wikipedia, I came up with detailed info on our George, a.k.a Butch Cassidy.

Now, does the name ring a bell? All lovers of wild west movies should have the name inscribed on their frontal lobes, along with the title: “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid”.

But why our Cassidy cowboy was nicknamed “Butch”?
Simply, because before becoming an infamous outlaw, he was a butcher.

Yet, the word Butch alone seems to have many ancestors and relatives in the English language.

Derived from Old English Bucca “male goat”. This word, Bucca, is a sister of O.E Buc “male deer” as well as the legitimate mother of : “Buck”.

Butch is not really a direct descendant of Bucca, it had to be derived/abbreviated from “butcher”, and for its possession of the early meaning “tough youth” and later “masculine/aggressive lesbian”, all credits go to Butch Cassidy, Sundance Kid and their gang: the Wild Bunch.

I find irony in the fact that Butch was originally a he-goat, not far from modern sense, eh? and why wouldnt a femme be called a she-goat or just a goat? It makes perfect sense, gays are bears, lesbians are goats…in this way, heterosexuals must be horses, cows..any suggestion?

Buck, on the other hand, has no relation to the lesbian world, except for Buck angel, the ftm porn star…I wonder what she had in mind when she chose this pseudonym?
Nevertheless,the word Buck has interesting etymology in its relations to words like Dollar. All the different definitions of the word “Buck” are true examples of how goats participated in the history of English language.

As a heavenly award for my research on the word “butch”, I stumbled upon a compelling relationship between the English (American more precisely) Buckaroo, the Arabic Bakara “cow” and the Urdu (presumably Persian in origin) Bakra “goat”.

Femme, on the other end, is quite banal, being derived from French “femme” with no substantial trick in meaning.

Regarding dates of birth, the older being butch, born 1941, femme to be born 1961, younger by 20 years.

The irrelevant femme fatale was born 1912.

I take a final pause to ask a question: with Butch of its current meaning born 1941, and the movie “butch cassidy and the sundance kid” realized 1969…was the title of this movie a joke at that time?

In case you dont know, kid etymologically means “young goat” .

I hope you enjoyed reading this article more than i enjoyed writing it. Thank you for reading and till a next post.

save women and children. kill the elderly, men and…lesbians

This is my idea of what should happen in a life-threatening situation.

I’m not homophobic, I’m a man who will be killed with the lesbians in that situation, really this post bears no hate, just my point of view, the way i see it.

It is globally known that in such situations (war, hostages…etc) women and children are saved first, men are saved later if they are saved at all.

But why women and children? easy, a child still has a life to consume, and is gonna be adolescent, adult..a long trip with lots of work to be done that may serve the community right.

women, straight women, you save them you dont save a life, you save many. She is gonna have babies, maybe loads of them, maybe none, but still you cant afford to lose this possible productive machine: the womb.

yes, I’m being frank: women are/were saved for their wombs.

What? work you say? work can be done by the more tolerating, less complaining men, no problem. cooking? cleaning? generally; house work? men proved to be better chefs, better butlers than women are.

What work is left for women is mainly womb-related: suckling, taking care of babies, and pleasing men.

I’m not being narrow-minded, I’m being medieval. Those times were simple, very straight forward about humanity.

Now I guess you know what I’m going to say: Lesbians are not saved for their wombs, and when I say Lesbians I mean real ones, die-hard butches and femmes who would prefer to die than have sex with a man.

One trivial point, why not save men for their cocks?

Unfortunately, in this kind of task one man can compensate for the loss of many.

One man can fertilize many women, a woman cant be fertilized by many men. We are dispensable, we’re left to rot and die.

Rush Hour 3

I just finished watching rush hour 3

this movie doesnt deserve a review, just one word:

Dont watch it.

Silly scenario, unconvincing actors: Jackie chan is just doing his thing, little chat, kick this and that, i cant blame him. but Tucker? and that chinese girl (ambassador’s daughter, Hiroyuki?) ? com’on, this is amateur stuff!

I liked the scene with the You and Me chinese names; old but creatively recreated, the scene with the french nun and like always best part of Jackie Chan’s movies is the recorded mistakes during filming shown after the End (what they call these in English? Bl.. something).

“Rush Hour 3″ is full of goofs too, easy to spot on the spot, just keep an open eye.

All in all, this is a low-key movie, i’ll be shocked if it gets any awards.